My editor thinks it is funny to give me the topic of " How to forget about a boyfriend". I keep wondering : out of all the possible themes he could have made me write about (e.g. How to make a cake for a close friend who has been waiting for you to keep your promise for a long time now), why did he choose this one ? But ok, the topic is sacred, so here goes.
So, the main methods ( not in order of importance) are :
1. Shopping - its a piece of cake to forget about the boyfriend (from here on , BF) waiting outside. Unless he is carrying the rest of your bags, or, even worse, if he is the one with the credit card. In that case, forgetting about him is impossible. Abort mission.
2.Soap operas( preferably in Spanish) - plenty of channels and series to go around for every taste. Of course, point 2 is also impossible when the BF has the remote control in possession. In this case, you might want to expropriate him before proceeding to the forgetting part.
3. Chat / gossip on the phone. Such an activity is known to be extremely pleasant and may occupy your time and more than half of your brain functions. Of course, this method of forgetting is not implemented too successfully if the said boyfriend is a) horny b) hungry . In such cases, the needs of the BF need to be satisfied a priori, otherwise, the method is completely ineffective.
4. This method is connected to the one described above, as it includes satisfying the needs of the BF mentioned above. In such cases, if the BF is not either a) or b), then chances are that he will not be anywhere in sight till the symptoms reappear. So in the meantime, forgetting about boyfriend is an automatic consequence and thus you can pursue other, more interesting activities like 1, 2 or 3.
5. Let him play videogames on his computer - this way, he will be so out of sight that forgetting comes involuntarily. This method needs to be applied when the need of forgetting is long-term. But be aware, that this method functions both ways, and it may even be more effective for the BF, as a channel to "Forget about GF"
6. Adult videos. Also, this method has both its risks and rewards. The risks include the "Forget about GF" consequence mentioned above, and also, "Increased expectations", and thus, a bigger challenge to satisfy a) horny. The rewards, however, are related to the latter challenge : after applying the present method, there may not be any need of "Forgetting boyfriend", as girlfriend may want to keep him in mind for a while. And this is a classical example of a win-win situation.
7. Lots of beer. This method is effective both by itself and when combined with nr. 5 and 6. The risks of this method include the certainty of noise in the form of snoring
and the possibility of unpleasant odors. The benefits, however, may extend till the next morning, when the effect of hangover may offer the possibility of continuing to "forget about boyfriend".
But, of course, the list above is not exhaustive. Forgetting a boyfriend is easy - sometimes it's harder to remember where you left him.
